jedigreko

damn it has been too long since the last post, actually i never really got into LJ too much. However, I'm sitting here at cups which I don't do much anymore. I'm feeling quite nostaligic. I've been looking around on facebook at old high school friends and old other friends and looking around listening to "o come on with me little girl, you're the one that's got me down on me" - has not meaning to me, but still is appropriate for the background of my remincient envirnment.

So i have my last exam for the semester in about 30 minutes. then all i need to do is finish my personal statement and writing sample for grad school applications and send them off tomorrow. 8 school total and none of them are near mississippi. not that that is a bad thing, it's just i know that an inevitable move is ahead. a new beginning. not too worried. I mean I still got to get in somewhere! I've already been rejected by two masters teaching programs- teach for america and mississippi teacher corps, but I didn't really want to do those anyway. My future possible cities may be cincinnati, boston, seattle, gainsville, santa barbara, chapel hill, madison wis, or austin. I sure hope I get in somewhere, you never know. I know I'll be alright either way. who am I kidding? I'll be devestated!

so fun upcoming events include: Christmas with the folks and brother's new fiancee. I've never met her and she's never been around gay people before and neither has my brother for that matter. By the time she's done with me, she'll love her gay boys forever. I don't care too much about the bro, but the sisters will be fun to see. I miss them lots. and of course my mom- i think i'll clean her house for her and cook some. dad is dad- whatever. he and my bro will probably chill lots and leave me with the women- all fine by me.

brett is coming in february- so yeah. john forrest will probably be hanging out at the house lots this christmas- we'll see how that goes. I know he is 4 years younger than me, but that has NEVER mattered here in jackson. But at home in memphis that means he is one year younger than my youngest sister. I have two little sisters- one is 21 and the other is 23. He is 20. It's funny because the gay thing doesn't bother the family as much as the age difference. I guess it has to be something or else it just wouldn't be my life.

I have to figure out what to do for new years this year. I was thinking about going to backstreet in memphis, but who knows. It would be fun to see zach dancing at this new job, but i'll live if i don't see that. christmas break is much needed and new years is just a afterthought this year. after last year in new orleans, that was enough for 2 new years in one!

I can't wait to see my old best friend ellen in memphis, she wants to move wherever i move to grad school. she's hoping i get into new york, but i'm not applying to new york! my old girlfriend will probably want to go with me to our yearly waffle house coffee night tradtion. if i wasn't dating jfd, i could either hook up with andrew or creig, but that's not happening and i'm not all the undersexed this year. more oversexed than anything. maybe go see mark (my first love) but i think he's living in denver now with his new GIRLfriend. ouch.

note to self: don't stay in memphis too long- i start to decay! just get in there, give some hugs and updates, say merry christmas and get the hell out back to your asylum in mississippi. never thought i'd say that. and maybe see some movies while you are up there for sanity purposes.

ok to french exam i go. cups just isn't the same as it used to be.

ok i'm sitting at cups thinking about upcoming good things, things that i'm not looking forward to, things i need to do, things i want to do, things i need to prepare for, people i need to call, friendships i need to nurture, and then put things things into things i need to do immediately, sometime this week, sometime soon, sometime never, sometime in the next year. a little overwheming.

i kinda just want to go home and crawl in the bed with someone special and say fuck it all until tomorrow.

That is not an option.

i better get to doing one of those thing i need to do immediately...

I'm sitting here at cups and I've been sitting here for quite a while. I have been able to compile a list of cups' groupies. A diverse world of a plethora of different types of people can be seen here. Much like Oz or Middle Earth or a galaxy far far away, there is the world of cups. I may be over-dramatizing, but if you been to cups and stayed awhile then you know what I mean.

1) The Students. Staring into a lab top or computer screen. Little eye contact. Friendly enough to hold a descent yet short conversations only if you initiate it. Loyal to cups and usually like to be left alone. Stay inside along the electrical outlets.

2) The AA Crowd. Usually sitting on the porch smoking and downing coffee. Ranges in age and background. Never stay long, but keep the business in business. Highly exclusive and usually extremely nervous.

3) The Live Ins. These people never seem to leave. They use cups as their personal office. Happy to be alone or in a group.

4) Suburbian Moms. Quick in and out. Loud and obnoxious. They want everyone to know their superficial conversations and high class atitudes.

5) The old guys. Sit around and talk old guy talk.

6) High Schoolers. Usually chain smoking and loving cups more than anyone.

7) The hippies. Usually appearing and disappearing without notice.

8) The queens. Pretending that they're all that.

9) The Christians. Doing the Christian thing.

10) The Drug Addicts. They just don't stay long but go to the bathroom at the same time.

Specifics: "Chaucer" "Black Rusty" "Motorcycle guy" "Mushroom Head Boy" "Jay" "Black Cowboy Hat" "Dancing Rapper"

All groups can be re-subcatagoried into patio people and inside people. Patio people are by far more insane while inside people keep their insanity to themselves.

"But there can be no pain except as the result of what you feel."
-Seneca

A group called Young Gay America contacted me and wants to do interviews with QYAN people. It is a group that goes around interviewing young gays and lesbians across the country and has a magazine. They will be here the second week of May. Their website is fairly impressive:

http://www.younggayamerica.com/

http://www.younggayamerica.com/trips.shtml

Spread the word- they want a huge showing from Mississippi.

Whoopi Goldberg special on HBO. It was excellent! Here's a highlight= "gays are the new black man"...

suddenly seymour is standing beside me

don't need no makeup, don't have to pretend

suddenly seymour, show me I can

Yes you can

suddenly seymour is here to provide you

with sweet understanding, sweet understanding

seymour's your man

when I was younger my mama noticed funny things I did. Like shootin puppys with a B.B. gun. poison guppys when I was done, I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head, and then my mama said, what did she say, she said my boy you'll be a dentist... you have a talent for causing things pain

The Mayan Calender predicts the world will end on December 21 2012. Good thing those Mayans didn't make it!

I slept all afternoon and now I can't sleep tonight.

"shelby was right... my hair does look like a brown football helmet"

Maybe two people don't add up to a hill of beans, but this is our hill, and our beans, and I love you!

http://www.veryverygay.com/elijahwood/vvg.html

"It's a quarter to three and there's no one in the place but just you and me. So set up joe. I gotta little story that you ought know. We're going my friend we're coming to the end. so come on my baby lets give it one more for the show and two for the road."

"Say something it's too quiet... I pledge alligence to the flag..."

"Where are his glasses, he can't see without his glasses."